Everything I Didn’t Know by Nicky James

Narrated by Nick J. Russo

Nicky James’ Everything I Didn’t Know is a standalone romantic suspense title set in a remote commune where three hundred-plus people have chosen to leave their old lives behind to follow a simpler one, living off the land. All is not what it seems, however, and the author has crafted an intense, atmospheric story with some genuinely creepy vibes as one young man’s dreams of family and belonging are shattered in the worst way and he learns the truth about the corruption at the heart of the community he is now trapped in.

A couple of years earlier, Bowie and his best friend Collin, both disenchanted with life in general and not really having any idea of what their futures might look like, dropped out of college after becoming involved with a group of environmental activists. The energy, the sense of purpose, the message, and the crazy exploits of the group members appealed to them and offered them the chance to feel part of something important – and for Bowie to finally feel part of the family he never had. A few months later, Bowie and Collin were invited to join Oasis, a community dedicated to protecting the environment, back-to-nature living, and to fighting to save Mother Earth from the destruction being wrought upon her by man-made plagues.

But around six months after joining Oasis, the scales fell from Bowie’s eyes when Collin was caught trying to escape and was publicly executed by Father Wilder, the supposedly benevolent father figure at the head of the community. Collin’s murder was framed as being a way to purge his soul, his body a gift of nutrients for Mother Earth – and was calmly accepted by all. Bowie vows to avenge Collin’s death, no matter how long it takes; he’ll play the game and gain trust and privileges, then, when he’s able, he’ll escape and blow the whistle on Oasis.

A year later, and Bowie’s plan is working. He’s risen through the ranks to become one of the Second Branch – one of the higher ranking ‘officials’ of the organisation and one Father Wilder’s most trusted followers. He is tasked with overseeing the orientation of the latest group of recruits to Oasis, assigning brethren to explain the rules and help them settle in – and is asked by Wilder to look after the engaged couple in the group, a petite, auburn-haired woman and a tall, handsome man a few years older than Bowie – who immediately catches his eye. Bowie quashes his interest – the man (Foster) is engaged to the woman (Paxton) at his side and is firmly off limits, so Bowie must surely have imagined the slightly longer-than-normal handshake and the flirty grin that had been sent his way.

But as the days turn into weeks, and Bowie spends time with and observing the couple, it becomes evident to him that something isn’t quite right. They’re openly affectionate in public, but in private, their body language doesn’t scream “engaged couple”, and Foster is way too flirty for a man who is supposed to be in love with someone else. He also asks a lot of questions, and Bowie fears he’ll start drawing attention to himself if he doesn’t learn to tone it down. More worrying, however, is Bowie’s growing belief that Foster is only here because Paxton wanted to come and he wanted to make her happy. If that’s true, Foster will be in real danger once he realises Oasis isn’t for him and he starts looking for a way out – but maybe, if Bowie has guessed correctly, he could be a potential ally.

Bowie’s instincts prove to be pretty accurate. The listener knows from the start that Foster and Paxton are not what they seem and that their reasons for joining Oasis are not the usual ones. But Bowie has learned that trusting anyone with his secrets is dangerous – and no matter how strong the pull of attraction between him and Foster is, and with the stakes suddenly raised – he can’t afford to make the wrong choice.

Although the story is told in dual PoV, Everything I Didn’t Know is really Bowie’s show as he pushes forward with his plan to become one of Wilder’s inner circle in order to foil his latest and biggest scheme to create havoc and destruction. There are some truly nail-biting moments as Bowie skirts the edge of discovery, and you’ll find your heart in your throat as he’s forced to do some very fast thinking to keep his enemies convinced of his fervour and dedication. I really liked him as a character, and was impressed with the way the author presents his inner conflict. Bowie knows the compassionate father-figure Wilder presents to his followers is just an act, knows he’s ruthless and capable of great cruelty, yet despite all that, there’s something about the man that still draws Bowie to him. For someone like Bowie, who has been alone for much of his life, it was easy to buy the promise of family, home, and community Oasis was selling, and even though he knows how empty those promises were, something in him still clings to the fantasy and he has to remind himself of the truth sometimes. I’m no expert, but his thought-processes feel very realistic. I also appreciated the author’s choice to make Oasis something with a certain amount of appeal – a group of people dedicated to protecting the environment (a cause we can all get behind) rather than a crazy religious cult, because it provides some real grey areas and makes Bowie’s emotional conflict easier to understand.

Because Foster is new to Oasis and doesn’t have even the limited freedom Bowie has, his purpose is mostly as a sounding board and support for the first three-quarters of the book, but that’s exactly what Bowie needs. Their physical relationship begins as a way of blowing off steam, but their connection deepens quickly and realistically, and there’s a neat bit of role-reversal going on, with Bowie – the younger of the two – the more level-headed, and Foster – a former military professional – the more reckless and prone to impulsivity. I admit that I did have to side-eye a couple of potentially TSTL moments, but what I really liked about Foster is his ability to be honest with himself and admit that he’s out of his depth and not well suited to his current situation. He’s also a good partner for Bowie – he recognises his strength of mind and his determination and he never tries to wrap him up in cotton wool or insist he’s too young and inexperienced to do what has to be done.

Admittedly, the romance does play second-fiddle to the plot here, but that makes sense given the oppressive environment and the need for secrecy. I appreciated that both men acknowledge that their relationship was formed under extraordinary circumstances but that they’d like to explore it further, and their eventual HFN provides like a solid basis for a future together.

Knowing in advance that a book I’ve enjoyed reading is going to be equally enjoyable in audio thanks to the talents of an excellent narrator means I can just kick back and immerse myself in the story without worrying about odd quirks that get on my nerves! (There’s nothing quite like that sinking feeling when you see a book you loved coupled with the name of a narrator who just… isn’t up to the job, amirite?) Nick J. Russo has proved himself to be one of the most reliably good audio performers around – I haven’t given him anything lower than a B+ here at AudioGals, and he’s earned a good number of A grades, too – and he delivers another strongly characterised and expertly nuanced performance here. His portrayals of Bowie and Foster work really well – the humour in Foster’s dialogue comes through strongly and he does a great job of putting across all the complex emotions Bowie is going through, conveying his inner strength and determination as well as his constant and very real fear of discovery. Their emotional connection is strongly rendered and I enjoyed the warmth and humour on display in their more intimate moments – and as a veteran romance narrator, Mr. Russo really knows how to bring the sexy without going over the top. The secondary cast isn’t large, but is clearly delineated and the narration as a whole is well paced and expressive.

Everything I Didn’t Know is a tense and exciting story and another compelling listen from this favourite author/narrator team.

Caz

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