Narrated by Tristan James
I haven’t read or listened to a book by Andrew Grey before, but I know he’s a fairly prolific author of m/m romances and knowing Tristan James is a reliably good narrator, decided to give this one a try.
Eyes Only for Me centres on two best friends – Clay (who is gay) and Ronnie (who isn’t) – who end up becoming a lot more than friends following an unexpected night of passion. I suppose it’s a Gay-For-You story, although the author does explore the idea that sexual orientation is a grey area and that there are many different options and possibilities beyond the simple definitions of “gay” and “straight”.
Both men are in their forties, but for most of the book, Ronnie seems stuck in his twenties – he’s brash, loud, unsubtle and a player; after a failed marriage years earlier and a more recent break up with a long-term girlfriend, he hooks up with a succession of gorgeous airheads who, he’s well aware, are more after what he can give them (he’s a hugely successful stockbroker (or something of that ilk) and thus extremely wealthy) than for who he is himself. He has a form of OCD which can make it hard for him to think clearly and he has trouble letting go of things that have affected him emotionally, like his most recent break-up (which was over a year before) and his father’s death more than two years earlier.
Clay is Ronnie’s best friend and has also recently come out of a long-term relationship. He’s mostly content – enjoys his job and his circle of friends, with whom he meets up regularly for gym and lunch dates – but nonetheless misses being part of a couple and would like to try to find that special someone he can spend his life with. He’s the total opposite of Ronnie – Clay is quiet, considered and thoughtful – often to the point of overthinking things – and comes off as a lot more mature than his group of friends.
When Clay’s father has several strokes which leave him in a coma, Ronnie drives Clay to the hospital in Baltimore, several hours away, and, once the older man is stable, arranges for them to stay overnight at a nearby hotel. It’s here that things heat up between them; Clay has known for some time that he’s interested in Ronnie as more than a friend, but believing Ronnie is straight, never thought anything could ever happen between them. But that night, his fantasies come true, and what starts out as Clay trying to put down one of Ronnie’s typically suggestive comments ends up with them having sex. I have to say that this seemed both fast and really unlikely. I can understand that maybe Clay needed a diversion or to blow off some steam, but for his heretofore completely straight friend to suggest he gives him a blow job and then agree to have penetrative sex for the first time in his life seemed off.
Anyway. The rest of the story deals with the fallout from this one night. Clay is surprised when Ronnie seems interested in a repeat performance – more than one – but also knows that Ronnie has to come to terms with this new thing he’s learned about himself, and also that it’s likely that eventually Ronnie will ‘revert to form’ and will go back to his previous playboy lifestyle. Ronnie’s uncertainty about his sexuality and the state of his relationship with Clay feels realistic; I’m sure anyone in their forties who suddenly discovered that something fundamental to their sense of self had shifted would be confused and conflicted, and Ronnie is very obviously trying to work it all out, to the extent that even their group of gym buddies notice he’s become quieter and a little withdrawn. The problem is that while Ronnie is deciding what he wants, Clay is overthinking everything and drawing the wrong conclusions. I liked that while he was prepared to give Ronnie time, he was also clear about the fact that he wasn’t going to be his ‘dirty little secret’ – but I didn’t like that he was so quick to attribute actions and motivations to Ronnie without giving Ronnie the chance to think and act for himself.
Both Ronnie and Clay are fairly well-rounded characters. At first, Ronnie seems like he’s just a loud-mouthed dickhead, but we are shown another side to him, one that can be thoughtful and kind; Clay is his total opposite and sometimes it seems as though he is in danger of being steamrollered by Ronnie’s much larger-than-life personality, but he never is, possessing a quiet inner strength and self- awareness that mean he can only be pushed so far. I have to say though, that Clay’s transition from gentle voice of reason to sex-god-dirty-talker didn’t really work for me, and I found myself giggling at some of the things he said that I’m sure weren’t supposed to produce that reaction!
All credit to Tristan James for being able to utter them without corpsing, but then I suppose the ability to do that goes with the territory ;). He delivers an enjoyable performance, providing distinct and appropriate character voices for the principals and main secondary cast. His portrayals of Clay and Ronnie are especially good; he gives Ronnie this big, resonant sound which perfectly reflects his big personality, while Clay is quieter and more softly spoken, which fits with his more mature outlook and calmer persona. Mr. James has a pleasant, slightly husky note to his voice, and although his delivery can be just a teeny bit on the slower side, it doesn’t detract from his performance overall.
Eyes Only for Me didn’t quite work for me, mostly because I found it difficult to believe in that first hook-up. There were a number of aspects to the story that I did enjoy, however; the friendships and familial relationships, Ronnie’s willingness to accept such a huge shift in his self-knowledge, and the fact that Clay and Ronnie are generally pretty honest and open with one another. But I couldn’t completely buy into the romance. I enjoyed the listen on the whole, but it isn’t going down as one of my favourites.
Caz
Buy Eyes Only for Me by Andrew Grey on Amazon
