Narrated by Tim Paige & Iggy Toma
Leslie McAdam is a new-to-me author, so as has been the case with many of the audiobooks in the Vino and Veritas series, it was the names of the narrators that caught my eye. Tim Paige and Iggy Toma are both accomplished performers with a strong track-record in m/m romance, so I decided to take a chance on Undone, a bi-awakening roomies-to-lovers romance between a self-declared fabulous, sparkly princess and the sweet, nerdy insurance salesman he moves in with. It’s based on a story originally posted on Reddit in which a guy was worried he was being homophobic towards his gay roommate only to realise he’d fallen in love with him!
Jason Falkner is a nice guy. He’s kind and sweet, but he’s tended to just coast through his life, going along with what other people want and letting others make decisions for him. He works for his dad’s insurance firm but doesn’t enjoy it – and doesn’t have an alternative he feels passionately enough about to be prepared to rock the boat with his dad. When we meet him, Jason is about to meet the new roommate his sister has found for him who turns out to be… not exactly what he’d expected. Not that he’d had any expectations really, but if he had, they didn’t include a cheeky, flamboyant and vivacious gay guy with fantastic hair, glossed-lips and a propensity to talk at a mile a minute. David Murphy – known to all simply as Murph – is a funny, flirty force of nature, his outgoing personality a complete contrast to Jason’s quieter, more thoughtful one, but they hit it off straight away, and start to bond over a love of cooking and old movies.
Murph falls headlong into lust with Jason from the minute he meets him, even though he knows sighing over his straight landlord is the stupidest idea ever. But Jason is such a great guy – he’s hot, sure, but he’s also funny and just a little bit awkward – that no matter how hard he tries, Murph can’t help himself from wanting more than friendship. He knows it’s not gonna happen, though, so he decides it’s time to get out there and find himself a Mr. Right – or at least a Mr. Right Now. His last relationship was with a guy who was in the closet and wouldn’t acknowledge Murph in public, and it’s clearly knocked his confidence and made him wary of getting involved again, but it’s get out there, or break his heart over a straight guy, so…
When Murph tells Jason he’s going on a date, Jason feels… well, odd. He decides he’d better make sure Murph is okay, so he turns up at Vino and Veritas and basically runs Murph’s date off. He does the same thing with Murph’s next date, and the one after that… Jason doesn’t know what’s going on with him and starts to worry that maybe he’s homophobic because he doesn’t like the idea of two men being affectionate in front of him. But he hates that thought; he’s always prided himself on being open-minded and sexually open, so he can’t be a homophobe… can he?
It takes a serious row with Murph and some straight (!) talking from his sister to help Jason realise the truth. He dislikes Murph going on dates with men… who aren’t HIM.
There’s nothing especially original here, but the slow burn of the relationship that develops between Jason and Murph is nicely done as they get to know one another as friends and reveal things about themselves that few – if any – other people know. But once they become a couple and Jason is exploring his bisexuality, he’s also playing into some odd stereotypes as he thinks back over his life and sees various cues he missed at the time which (he thinks) should have told him he wasn’t completely straight. For instance, he realises that unlike his friends, who wanted to kiss Wonder Woman, he wanted to BE her; he remembers getting off while watching male underwear ads and getting boners when studying Greek and Roman statues; he liked to use purple glitter pens in the sixth grade… oh, and he takes personal grooming seriously and likes a clean environment… all of which means he must have been queer all along?
I could have gone along with all that to a point, because the author does a good job of conveying Jason’s genuine confusion, his gradual arrival at the truth and what it must be like for him to have spent his life fitting in with everyone else and disregarding his own needs and wants. But some other things happen late on which feel awkward and contrived, and really drag the story down. One of these is Murph’s sudden personality transplant when he goes from wanting nothing more than for Jason to wake up one morning and realise he’s not straight to an insecure mess who is convinced he’s just an experiment and that soon, Jason will realise he prefers women. Murph’s past relationship undoubtedly plays a part in his insecurities, but Jason is saying and doing all the right things and happily embracing this new side of himself – yet he’s somehow not ‘bi enough’ (my words) for Murph? Then, after Murph has pushed him away, Jason decides he needs to prove that he IS ‘bi enough’, so he makes a list of ‘things that make me not straight’ (see above re. Wonder Woman and the purple pens). It feels uncomfortably like bi-phobia or erasure.
Then there’s the turning of Jason’s long-time friend-with-benefits into an evil OW who seeks Murph out to yell at him and tell him how Jason always comes back to her. Using a female character as a clichéd plot device is not a good look in any variety of romance, but it’s especially problematic in m/m.
So from being something sweet but fairly unexceptional, Undone turned into something that feels a bit preachy, a bit clueless and a bit uncomfortable. It’s not a complete disaster – the first half of the book is fun (although Murph’s mental lusting is a bit over the top), the domesticity of shared meals and movie nights is sweet, and I appreciated the way Jason finally takes charge of his life, standing up to his dad and making it clear to Murph that he’s not ashamed of loving him – which also goes a long way to helping Murph to feel better about himself. They’re good for each other and I liked them as a couple – but the issues I’ve mentioned bothered me enough for me to downgrade the story.
The narration by Tim Paige and Iggy Toma is very good, though. This is their second V&V collaboration (the first was Eden Finley’s Headstrong) and they’re experienced, talented performers I always enjoy listening to. Here, Mr. Paige narrates the chapters from Jason’s PoV and Mr. Toma gets to camp it up a bit portraying Murph, and their interpretations fit the characters very well. Jason’s considered, thoughtful manner of speaking is nicely contrasted with Murph’s vibrant, more up-tempo sassiness, the emotional aspects of the story are well realised, and the performance is well-paced and clearly differentiated.
Unfortunately, however, the excellent narration isn’t enough to save Undone, which starts out as a sweet, slow-burn romance, but falls down in its use of uncomfortable stereotyping and clichés.
Caz
Buy Undone by Leslie McAdam on Amazon
Once I liked seeing books with bisexual representation, but lately I’ve found them very problematic. There is often an undercurrent of bi-phobia/erasure, especially in bi-awakening stories. Authors go out of their way to explain that, while X enjoyed the women they’ve dated, it was NEVER as good as this! That makes me cringe. I realize people who identify as bi might lean more one way or the other, but emphasizing how much better m/m sex is in these stories has become cringeworthy. When bi person marries and/or settles down, they don’t cease to be bi, yet I get the feeling that m/m authors are pandering to the general prevalence of bi-erasure by making their bi characters feel more gay than bi.
I’m getting a bit leery of bi-awakening stories, and would prefer to read stories with established bi characters, where being attracted to the same sex isn’t a big deal.
I think some authors handle bi-awakening better than others – but they do tend to be in the minority.