Sink or Swim by Annabeth Albert

Narrated by Greg Boudreaux and Joel Leslie

Sink or Swim is the second in Annabeth Albert’s Shore Leave series, but you can easily jump in here without having read or listened to book one, Sailor Proof, as the stories are completely separate. The lead characters here are Naval Chief Calder Euler – brother of Arthur from the previous book – and a silver-fox doctor who is also a single parent to two little girls. It’s a fairly low-angst story featuring two attractive and strongly-characterised leads in which the conflict is low-key but organic, arising from who these two people are and their respective situations in life.

Calder is currently on desk duty at the base following a head injury which resulted in a concussion, and he’s itching to get back to active duty on his submarine. When we met him in Sailor Proof, he came across as overbearing, cocky and insensitive and, like almost everyone else in his large family, he’s highly competitive – which is how come, at the beginning of the book, he’s driving to Mount Rainier to check out the cabin he won from a guy in a poker game. A weekend getaway, somewhere to kick back with friends – and best of all, away from his accommodation in the barracks… yep, it could be an great “bro hangout”. He’s having a look around upstairs when he hears noises outside; he’s on the way down the stairs when the front door bursts open and he hears a scream just before he trips and falls the rest of the way down. The little girl in the doorway is quickly followed by a furious man:

“Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my cabin?”

Doctor Felix Sigurd has just been through a messy divorce in which his ex-husband Tim has pretty much taken him for everything he could get. One of the only things Tim couldn’t get his hands on, however, is the cabin in the mountains Felix inherited from his grandparents, and which has been in the family for generations. He’s visiting for the weekend with his two nieces (Madeline, 10, and Charlotte, 7) – to whom he became guardian on the death of his half-sister two years earlier – and is, quite naturally, angry, both at finding a complete stranger on his property and at Tim for putting it up as a bet in the first place! When he calms down, he realises that it’s not Calder’s fault – and that the injury the other main sustained to his ankle when he fell down the stairs and the heavy snowfall mean it isn’t safe for him to drive. Felix suggests Calder should stay the night and leave in the morning.

Overnight turns into all weekend as the roads are temporarily impassable, and the enforced proximity gives Calder and Felix the chance to get to know each other a little. There’s a definite spark of attraction there on both sides, but Felix isn’t looking for a new relationship, especially not after what he’s been through with his ex, and Calder, well, he’s never had a serious relationship before and doesn’t think he’s cut out for them anyway.

But that spark stays stubbornly lit, and the two men allow themselves to explore it just a little, incendiary kisses leading to making out and mutual orgasms that light Calder up in a way he’s only experienced very rarely. (It’s not explicitly stated, but it’s clear that Calder is on the asexual spectrum.) He hasn’t had many positive sexual experiences, principally because his partners (both men and women) have had certain expectations of a big guy like him that have made him feel pressured and anxious, and he’s never felt able to ask for the things – kissing, touching, cuddling – he likes and that turn him on. But with Felix, there’s no pressure and no judgement; he’s easy to talk to and the two of them communicate wonderfully. They talk openly about what they like to do in bed and are both on the same page about not needing every intimate act to culminate in having sex or orgasms. For Calder, it’s revelatory and helps him to realise just how much pressure he’s been putting on himself (and that he doesn’t need to) and for the reader/listener, it’s extremely refreshing in a genre where penetrative sex is so often seen as the end goal.

But the excellent communication doesn’t end there. Once the roads are clear and Calder and Felix go back to their regular lives, they decide they like each other too much not to see each other again, and begin to date. Again, they talk openly about so many things – their jobs, their hopes and fears for the future, their feelings and their insecurities. And the more they see of each other, the more Calder realises that a life with Felix and the girls is what he wants. He’s never thought of himself as being any good with kids and certainly never expected to have any of his own, but he surprises himself with how much he comes to enjoy being with them and becomes committed to them and to making a family with them and Felix.

The main point of conflict in the story arises because Felix was so badly burned by his ex and isn’t sure he’s ready to risk his heart again. And of course, as a single parent, he has more than his own wants and needs to consider – he has to put stability for the girls first – but while Calder is letting go of his fears of not being good enough and gaining confidence in himself and his ability to be a good partner and parent, Felix lets his fears his hold him back from believing he and Calder can have a future together. It’s frustrating to listen to, but is also understandable.

The narration by Greg Boudreaux and Joel Leslie is, of course, excellent. Mr Boudreaux reads the chapters from Calder’s PoV, Mr. Leslie those from Felix’s, and although – being perfectly honest – this isn’t a book that needs a dual narration I’m wasn’t going to pass up the chance to listen to m/m romance narrating royalty performing together! The emotional content of the story is perfectly rendered; both performers are incredibly skilled voice actors and I loved the way Calder’s hidden vulnerabilities are so beautifully articulated, and Felix’s dedication to being a good dad and worries he’s not Doing It Right come across strongly. There isn’t a large secondary cast, but each character is voiced appropriately and expertly differentiated. I had a couple of small niggles; there are a number of very obvious drop-ins in Mr. Boudreaux’s chapters and very occasionally, Felix and Calder sounded a little too similar in Mr. Leslie’s. But those are more ‘things I noticed’ than ‘things that impacted my enjoyment’ in any way.

Sink or Swim is a properly ‘grown-up’ romance featuring two men who are facing big changes in their lives, with Felix adjusting to life as a single parent, Calder to the possibility that his career may need to move in a different direction. I’m not the biggest fan of low-angst stories, but I make an exception for Annabeth Albert because of her ability to write such stories while still giving her characters real depth and creating meaningful emotional connections between them. And, as Kaetrin said in her review of Sailor Proof, “with this pair narrating you really can’t go wrong.”

Caz

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