Conscious Decisions of the Heart by John Wiltshire

Conscious Decisions of the Heart by John Wiltshire

Narrated by Gary Furlong

When I reviewed Love is a Stranger, book one in John Wiltshire’s More Heat Than the Sun series, I said that I suspected I was in for a run of enjoyable hokum over the course of the set of (so far) eight-books – fast-paced and frequently bonkers plotlines that require a large suspension of disbelief and an epic love story featuring two complex, damaged individuals. Well, now I’ve listened to book two, Conscious Decisions of the Heart, I can say with certainty that’s definitely the case. The plot moves swiftly and is twistier than a twisty game of Twister, the connection between Ben and Nik is growing deeper, they still have lots and lots of sex (although Nik, despite his immense fortune, never seems to buy any lube), and while they aren’t always nice, they’re nonetheless completely irresistible. But there are a few things in this one that made me more than a bit uncomfortable; there are a couple of mysoginistic rants that are not cool and an instance of non-con which is kinda shocking. The pacing around the middle flags a bit, the plot meanders, and Ben and Nik are emotionally exhausting, but despite all that, I’m completely addicted.

This is a series which should be listened to in order, so there are likely to be spoilers for the previous book in this review.

As is the case in the other instalments in the series, Conscious Decisions of the Heart is a book of two halves. Or in this case, three parts. The first sees Nik (and despite the discovery of his true name and identity in Love is a Stranger, he’s mostly still referred to as Nik throughout the series) returning to Russia in response to a request from someone from his past. Ben isn’t completely happy about it, but he does sort of understand Nik’s reasons. After his lover’s departure, Ben, at something of a loose end, decides to travel to Denmark (accompanied by their dog, Radulf), to the town Nik grew up in, to immerse himself in the culture and learn the language, as a surprise for Nik. Ben settles in well and ends up staying with Ingrid Jacobsen, who turns out to have been Nik’s primary school teacher. Ben makes friends among the locals, but he misses Nik dreadfully, although being in Aeroe helps him feel a little closer to him.

Nik and Ben don’t see each other again for several months – although Nik is never very far from Ben’s mind so it doesn’t really feel like a months-long separation – and their winter reunion is wonderfully unexpected, joyous and predictably lube-free! But something has undeniably shifted between them; Nik is making a determined effort to share more of himself with Ben, both of them have acknowledged what they mean to each other (the “L” word has come into play) and they’re inching closer to behaving like a couple in public – even though neither of them thinks of himself as gay (!!) There’s never any doubt that these two are completely head-over-heels for each other, or that they have come to know each other incredibly well and know exactly which buttons to push; they tease and snark and prod and cajole, winding each other up in (mostly) harmless ways that are both funny and revealing. But Nik and Ben are trouble magnets, and their blissful love-fest is brought to an abrupt end when, after a vicious (verbally and physically) argument, Nik suddenly disappears.

To reveal more about this plotline would be spoilery; suffice to say that it’s difficult not to get caught up in the craziness that is Nik and Ben’s life and there’s plenty of drama (and violence) before our heroes are reunited once more.

Then we segue into a meandering middle section in which Ben and Nik return to London for a while, Ben discovers some interesting information about his past and Nik seems to be struggling to come to terms with what happened in Denmark (the resulting health issues he appears to be experiencing are suddenly swept under the carpet); then he decides that what they really need is a luxury holiday somewhere with “a beach, a lagoon, a hut over the lagoon and guaranteed sun.” But as this is Ben and Nik we’re dealing with, it will surely come as no surprise when I say that the luxury holiday doesn’t go according to plan.

Unlike the first book, which was (of necessity) related entirely from Ben’s PoV, the author includes Nik’s this time around, exposing some of his deeply buried insecurities and making it easier to understand just how deep his feelings for Ben go. Nik’s horrific past continues to make its presence felt, especially in the first part of the book, but Ben’s unwavering faith in him is helping him to come to terms with it and to believe that he really does deserve the love and happiness they’re finding together. It’s not easy for him to accept, but it’s clear that he very much wants to, and in this book we see him making progress on that; it’s baby steps but they’re steps in the right direction. As for Ben, well, he continues to be the light to Nik’s dark most of the time – although they both have their moments – and I really like his good-humour, his sense of the ridiculous and his ability to burst Nik’s bubble when he gets too far into his own head. There’s a lot of character and relationship growth going on here, although sometimes it’s hard to spot in amongst all the insanity of their lives; it’s only when you take a step back that you can see how far they’ve come from where they started in Love is a Stranger.

Gary Furlong once again delivers an absolutely stupendous performance – I honestly can’t think of a single thing about it that doesn’t work. He’s a superb vocal actor with the ability to convey even the smallest of emotional nuances to the listener, and his comic timing is excellent, enabling him to bring out the humour in the story (and there’s plenty of it, despite the sometimes dark turns it takes), from Ben’s cheeky snark to Nik’s dry wit. As in the first book, his portrayal of both leads is outstanding; Nik and Ben are brought to life – complete with all their complexities and vulnerabilities – with incredible skill, and their deep emotional connection comes across vividly. There’s a fairly large secondary cast here which includes some recurring characters, all of whom are portrayed consistently from book to book, but my favourite by far has to be Ben’s old army mate, Squeezy, who cracked me up every time he opened his mouth!

While the plot is OTT and the storyline sometimes veers into melodrama, Ben and Nik are such compelling characters and their epic romance is so, well, epic that once I started listening, it was impossible to stop! The story is a bit uneven; I liked the first half more than the second, so my grade is a compromise, but Gary Furlong’s amazing performance is more than worth the price of admission and earns Conscious Decisions of the Heart a definite recommendation.

Caz


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7 thoughts on “Conscious Decisions of the Heart by John Wiltshire

  1. I love this series even though, as you say, there are parts that made you (and me), uncomfortable. Still, it’s totally addictive. Gary Furlong is fabulous in every book, and I’ve listened to every one currently recorded.

    Squeezy is great and plays an even bigger part in later books. I can’t wait for the author to write more in the series. Thanks to you once more, Caz, I’m loving a series I would never have have picked up under normal circumstances.

    1. I’ve still only got as far as book 3 (which I thought was much better than this one in terms of the plotting), but I’ll get there in the end!

      And you’re welcome :) (Although I send my apologies to your bank balance!)

  2. This is a very fair review. I agree, the narration is outstanding, and the lack of lube has always puzzled me. Lol.
    As for the mysoginistic rants – they are uncomfortable, but not out of keeping with how some gay men, and primarily, ex-military men behave in regard to women. No one is perfect and I’m not a fan of reading books where the characters excemplify perfect ‘politically correct’ attitudes all the time, like many books in the MM genre. When the reader understands Ben and Nik’s backgrounds it’s not surprising that some of their attitudes are misogynist and they have issues with women – after the women they held most dear let them down in childhood.
    What I like most about Nik and Ben is that they are very psychologically complex characters. The readers empathy moves from one to the other throughout the series. Sometimes I love Nik more, other times my sympathy is with Ben. This is also unusual in MM that it’s a ten years+ relationship, not a meet up and happy ever after story.

    This is most certainly an addictive audiiobook series.

    1. Thank you :)

      I don’t think series like this one are only unusual in m/m – there aren’t that many that follow the same couple in m/f either – in fact, I think there are a lot fewer of them in m/f. (I’ll qualify that by saying that I don’t read a lot of m/f, but from reading reviews and synopses, that’s the impression I get.) Most m/f romantic suspense series feature a different couple in each book but the best m/m ones – from Adrien English to Hazard and Somerset – chart the development of a relationhsip over several books. That’s what – for me – makes them a lot more successful than many of the current crop of m/f RS books – the relationships have time to develop and we get to know the characters much better because we get to spend more time with them.

  3. I listened to this a few weeks ago and agree with all you’ve written, Caz. I mainly enjoyed it but was uncomfortable in places. Bits of it just seem a bit old-fashioned and of a different era to me – sort of reminiscent of spy books from the ’70s.
    The lack of lube is definitely very unusual. I wonder if it is an oversight or deliberate to highlight the pleasure they seem to get from the pain! Oooof……..
    Gary Furlong’s narration is superb – I love his voices and characterisation for all the significant characters. I’m another fan of Squeezy!

    1. Yes, I definitely get a bygone-era vibe from some parts of these stories – but this was first published in 2014. Maybe it’s their military sensibilities – there’s still plenty of sexism in the armed forces.

      The lubeless adventures of Ben and Nik are somewhat legendary! I shake my head, but I’m a cis, het woman, so what do I know?!

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