Someday, Someday by Emma Scott

Narrated by Greg Tremblay and Zachary Johnson

Emma Scott’s Someday, Someday is an angsty yet heartfelt romance about two damaged men who’ve been to hell, clawed their way back and are still fighting to reclaim the things they’ve lost. Max Kaufman was a major secondary character in Forever Right Now (he was the best friend and sponsor of the heroine, Darlene Montgomery) but you don’t have to have read or listened to that book to enjoy this one. I remember thinking, when I listened to Forever Right Now, that I’d love to know Max’s story, and was delighted when I saw Someday, Someday pop up at Amazon last year; and after that I was hoping for audio and for Greg Tremblay to return to narrate. I got my wish on both counts, and Mr. Tremblay is joined by new-to-me narrator Zachary Johnson. I confess I was a bit wary – dual narrations can be a real let-down if one narrator isn’t as good as the other – but I’m pleased to report that Mr. Johnson holds his own.

After he was thrown out of his home at sixteen for being gay, Max Kaufman lived on the streets, became addicted to cocaine and, for a short time at least, sold himself to pay for his habit. Thanks to the kindness of a stranger – an ex-cop – Max got clean, put himself through nursing school and now volunteers as a sponsor for NA (Narcotics Anonymous). Seven years after his family turned their backs on him, Max has got his life back on track; he likes what he does, he knows who he is and he’s comfortable in his own skin. There’s only one thing missing. He wants his family back – or to at least try to see if there’s any way they can be part of one another’s lives again, so he’s moved back home to Seattle to try to reconnect with them. He about to start a new job as part of a small nursing team for a wealthy private patient, but continues to volunteer for NA, and it’s at one of those meetings that he first sets eyes on ‘Scott’, who sits at the back, wearing a black hoodie and sunglasses, remaining aloof and saying nothing. Intrigued – and more than a little attracted – Max observes him quietly, but he leaves without speaking. A few days later, he turns up again, and this time talks briefly about his addiction and how he pulled himself back from it – and surprisingly, offers to drive Max home. Max accepts the lift, but after ‘Scott’ drops him home, he doesn’t expect to ever see him again.

Silas Marsh is the younger son of Edward Marsh III, the president and CEO of one of the world’s largest pharmaceutical companies. Silas’ older brother Eddie has Asperger’s – which, in the eyes of their father renders him totally useless – so the weight of Marsh Snr’s expectations falls solely on Silas’ shoulders. But although Edward has had to take a step back from his role due to illness (he has MS) he has no intention of handing the reins over to Silas on anything but his own terms – terms which will force Silas to live a lie for the rest of his life. When Silas discovers some serious irregularities in the way Marsh Pharma is operating, he can see no way to expose the wrong-doing, try to put things right and to continue to look after Eddie than to submit to his father’s wishes and continue to deny himself the chance to live his life as his truest self.

Discovering that the gorgeous guy from the NA meeting is one of his father’s new nursing team adds yet another layer of complication to his life that Silas really, really doesn’t need.

This story deals with some distressing subjects and while it’s heavy on the angst, it’s not all doom and gloom either. Max and Silas are strongly characterised protagonists, and although Silas initially comes off as a bit of an arsehole, once his full backstory is made clear, it’s easier to understand why he is the way he is. At seventeen, his father sent him to a “character-building, wilderness-survival” type camp – a conversion camp, in other words – where he was mistreated to the point of torture. It broke him, left him with PTSD (which was in part responsible for his becoming addicted to pain medication) and turned him into a cold, hard shell of a man who fights every day with the feelings of failure and worthlessness instilled in him – at the camp, but also by his father, who, despite his illness, is forever on Silas’ case and never lets up.

Max, on the other hand, is just lovely from the off. He’s been through a lot and has emerged from it a stronger person; he’s warm and funny and kind and compassionate, and has learned the hard way that life is to be lived, it needs to be lived honestly and it’s too short for bullshit. After struggling and working hard to put himself back together, he yearns for the love and acceptance of his family, but while he’s willing to make the first move towards reconciliation, he knows his own worth and isn’t prepared to compromise his truth and his self if they won’t meet him at least half way.

There’s a lot going on in this book, but the romance between Max and Silas remains front and centre throughout as, after a really rocky start, they become friends and slowly begin to fall in love. They have terrific chemistry right from their first meeting, but this is very much a slow-burn, and it’s very well done. I loved listening to these two finding happiness in each other, especially after the horrors they’ve been through; the way Max’s care and gentle persistence gradually breaks down Silas’ barriers, and how Silas starts feeling some of the weight lifting when he realises that at long last, he has someone in his corner, someone who will have his back no matter what – someone and something worth fighting for.

I was glued to this audiobook from beginning to end, but there were a few things about the story that didn’t quite work for me. For one thing, Max and Silas are supposed to be in their early twenties, but they read older – more late twenties, early thirties; and for another, I couldn’t help wondering if having two sets of such violently homophobic fathers was stretching it a bit? Overall, the book felt like it was a few chapters too long – the last few really dragged things out – and I found Silas’ father’s eleventh-hour olive branch difficult to believe given what he did to his son. There’s some flowery “typically NA” language to be found, too, but that’s probably just my age showing (and I’m British – we don’t go in for that sort of thing!!)

Any narrator being paired with Greg Tremblay had better be prepared to bring their A-game because otherwise they’re in danger of being acted out of the booth! (So to speak.) Zachary Johnson is new-to-me (although I’ve seen his name around a bit lately) and I enjoyed listening to him; his resonant baritone reminded me a little of Jason Clarke (not a bad thing!), and his performance is well paced and suitably expressive – I’ll certainly be seeking out more of his work based on his work here. He reads the chapters from Silas’ PoV, and although at first I found him a bit “shouty”, as the story went on, I realised that his sometimes loud, very clipped dialogue was working well to portray a man wound so tight that he sounds like he’s on the verge of shattering into tiny pieces. Greg Tremblay is a delight as Max, his well-modulated voice perfectly realising Max’s warmth and empathy, and the steel backbone beneath it all. There’s a clear pitch distinction between Max and Silas in both performances (with Max’s dialogue read at a higher pitch than Silas’) and the secondary cast is clearly characterised and differentiated, with the stand-out being the portrayal of Silas’ brother Eddie – who is, until Max, the only person Silas can really be himself with. Eddie is sweet and charming and very bright, but, thanks to his father’s dismissiveness and cruelty, has retreated into a world of his own in which he acts and speaks like an English lord (or how he thinks one would act and speak!). Both narrators pull off the English accent well, although Mr. Tremblay is perhaps more convincing when it comes to conveying the subtler aspects of Eddie’s character.

Boasting two very strong performances, complex and engaging characters and a deeply emotional love story, Someday, Someday might not always be easy to listen to but it had me riveted for the entire (almost) twelve hour running time. If you’re in the mood for an angsty, hard-to-put-down listen, this one is sure to fit the bill.

Caz

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Buy Someday, Someday by Emma Scott on Amazon