Narrated by Meredith Mitchell
Why would it take me six months to listen to a book that is just over ten hours long? That’s a reasonable question, especially if you consider the fact that I’ve been known to finish a truly excellent book in a day. Bearing this in mind, perhaps saying that The Accidental Werewolf is a far cry from excellent is just stating the obvious, and yet, I feel compelled to say it, over and over and over again if necessary. This wins the prize for the most ridiculous book I have ever had the misfortune to listen to. Shall I tell you why?
Marty Andrews is bitten by a very large dog while she’s walking her poodle. After the bite, Marty begins to notice changes, both physical and emotional. She’s craving red meat, which goes against every bone in her vegan body. Her blonde hair darkens, her body hair grows at an alarming rate, and she finds herself turning into a bitch. None of this is good, especially when it threatens her career as a sales rep for the cult-like Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics. It really is cult-like. When we first meet Marty, she’s obsessed with the company and everything it stands for. She’s pushy, but she never swears, because Bobbie-Sue wouldn’t like it. She accosts random strangers in buffet lines to “help them find their color aura” because that’s what Bobbie-Sue wants her to do. Her life goal seems to be to get a sky blue convertible from the company, a sign that she has achieved success.
Keegan Flaherty is the dog who bit Marty. Well, he’s not really a dog. He’s a werewolf, and now, Marty is too. Getting her to believe him proves impossible, partly because Marty can’t stop obsessing over the color of her makeup long enough to listen, and partly because the idea is simply preposterous. I get that. I really do. However, could our heroine respond in a predictable manner? Oh no. Instead, she sits on her couch, willing Keegan to leave, thinking about the change in her color wheel, and saying things to herself like “freaky deaky dutch”. I think this last is an attempt not to swear. A laudable goal, I suppose, but it did nothing to portray her true feelings. The only purpose it served was to make me snort derisively.
So, the plot starts out badly, and just gets worse. After an attempted kidnapping that may or may not have something to do with her new werewolf status, Marty decides Keegan might not be so insane, and moves in with him and his family. That’s a very normal reaction, isn’t it? One minute, you think the guy’s a lunatic and the next, you’re moving in with him?
I think Ms. Cassidy tried for humor when writing this book. Sadly, it fell completely flat. The characters were not likable, no matter how quirky she tried to make them. The plot was predictable, and not very well fleshed out. Not even the reason for Marty’s kidnapping was something I could take seriously.
Meredith Mitchell has been a hit or miss narrator for me. I found her performance here to be slightly above average. She gave Marty a suitably vacuous way of speaking, while her friend Nina came off with just the right amount of brusqueness. Keegan’s intended mate Alana sounded just as icy as I expected her to.
On the downside, it was difficult to tell Keegan and his younger brother apart. Ms. Mitchell’s natural speaking voice is in the lower range, so, theoretically, depicting male characters shouldn’t be too difficult for her. Sadly, this works in theory, but not in practice. All the men speak in deep, gruff tones that are practically indistinguishable from one another.
I do give Ms. Mitchell props for being able to read this bit of nonsense without gritting her teeth with frustration. I must admit I spent a lot of time gritting mine while listening. Still, if she found the text to be at all trying, you wouldn’t know it.
Basically, this book was a waste of time. Marty and Keegan had the same arguments over and over again. These arguments eventually led to really long sex scenes that left me bored. Of course, if the book bored me, why would I expect anything different from the sex?
Shannon
Narration: B-
Book Content: F
Steam Factor: Glad I had my earbuds in
Violence: Fighting
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Publisher: Tantor Audio
The Accidental Werewolf was provided to AudioGals by Tantor Audio for review.
What a shame, you didn’t like it. I found it quite appealing, but then maybe you have to be in a certain mood.
You really do need to be in a the mood for these books. I’ve listened to books 1, 2, skipped 3 and 4. I like the writing enough but I’m not sold on the narrator. I’ll give the series another book or two to decide if I’ll stick with it.