Never Trust a Pirate by Anne Stuart

Narrated by Xe Sands

I wasn’t sure I was in the mood for a Pirate romance (I never did get that excited about Pirates of Caribbean), so when the option of this review book came across my iPhone, I hesitated for a moment. But I have loved Anne Stuart since I read some of her early romances, with their dark edges, steamy passion, very strong women, and forceful men. As she herself has said, “I’ve written gothics, regencies, romantic suspense, historical romance, series romance — anything with sex and violence, love and redemption”.  So, ahoy mating we go.

Never Trust a Pirate opens with a virago of a heroine, Madeleine Russell, telling her old nanny and little sister that she has a plan. Despite their protests, Maddie is determined to masquerade as a housemaid in the house of Captain Thomas Morgan to determine if the sea captain who worked for her late father in the now-bankrupt Russell shipping, had anything to do with her father’s death. With the damning words, “never trust a pirate” echoing from her father’s last cryptic note, she dons her most dismal dress (and the equally dreary name Mary Greaves), and marches toward Captain Morgan’s house, where she finds herself in service to an arrogant gypsy sea captain.  And my, he is a lot..taller..sexier…younger than she had pictured.

Over the next several days, Maddie is not sure what shocks her more – her utter inability to take a direct order, the fact that the “dread Captain Morgan” (I wonder if Anne Stuart thought of Princess Bride when she wrote that phrase) has a constipated fiancée, or the frustrating lack of any evidence that this arrogant captain is her villain. The only thing she IS sure of is that she needs to stay as far away from the dangerous gypsy as possible to avoid the unreasonable attraction that is growing stronger each time they meet (and it is amusing – in a tantalizing way – that each time they meet, Maddie seems to be caught in fewer and fewer clothes).

Luca is a man torn between a defiant pride in how far he has come since his street-rat beginnings and a strong desire to be viewed as wealthy and respectable. In his latest donned identity of Captain Thomas Morgan, Luca captained vessels for Russell Shipping, until the company was bankrupt – which everyone attributed to embezzlement by Maddie’s father. When their father was found dead at the bottom of a cliff, the Russell sisters were penniless and ruined.

Luca takes the apparent betrayal of a man he respected in stride and continues his pursuit of fortune, respectability, and a proper fiancee (a two-faced witch of a woman who has become an increasingly tedious prospect). There are not many things that penetrate the cynical layers of Luca, until he is faced with the spitfire Mary Greaves, his odd new housemaid who keeps mixing up her accents and finding herself the victim of multiple murder attempts. What follows is a contest of wills – Luca wants Maddie to admit that she is a fraud and is not above using the lure of sex to do it; Maddie wants Luca to admit to being involved in her father’s death or the embezzlement, and will probe all of his secrets to find the truth.

Never Trust a Pirate is the second in the Scandal at the House of Russell trilogy, but the explanations and background are well done and you don’t need to read the first in order to enjoy this book. Be warned – if you do read this one first you WILL go back and read the first, Never Kiss a Rake, (and then anxiously await the third, Never Marry a Viscount, as I am). One thing I love about Anne Stuart’s books is that her heroines are known for challenging their men to the point of fury or explosive sex (usually fury first, sex second, then exciting alternating variations on those themes). When the heroine masquerades as a servant, you might worry that they will have to hide their fire but no need for concern, Maddie is way too strong-willed (and can curse in too many languages) to be able to curb her tongue. Thank God.

I have never listened to a Xe Sands narration before (I know! Can you believe it?). Wow. Just wow. She has a (deceptively) calm voice and depends on her subtle inflections, accents, pitch, and timing to differentiate the characters and make her point. As I listen to more and more narrators, I realize that I appreciate subtle acting and quiet (even sometimes growling) tones a lot more than louder, “dramatic theater”. And her cursing is top rate (I need a ring tone of her saying “oh, bloody hell”). Her Luca is really sexy; I never for one second thought this was a woman reading a book and trying to be a man – this was a tall, dark, unapologetically pragmatic gypsy sea pirate. I want one of those (this will be my husband’s next Halloween costume).

Ms. Sands takes a simple sentence and wrings from it exactly the right amounts and types of emotion that pull you into the story and make you forget that there is a narrator. Nothing detracts from the experience of this book and the wonderful way that Anne Stuart has with a story.

We need more ratings for these books. Do you idle in your driveway to prolong the book? (check). Did this make you forget about the rude driver in the parking garage? (check check). Do you jump on your husband following the best scenes? (check check check).

Victoria

Narration:  A+

Book Content:  A

Steam Factor:  For your burning ears only

Violence:  Escalated fighting

Genre:  Historical Romance

Publisher:  Brilliance Audio

Never Trust a Pirate was provided to AudioGals for review by Brilliance Audio.